11 August 2012

A poem: Racing

Laughing away it felt so good
But now I know it was high mood

Confident as anything it felt so right
But fears as well, scared of the night

I hadn't slept for eleven nights
Delusional and seeing sights
Racing thoughts, fast, fast, fast
There were so many, they were so vast

Taken away to an MBU
I was alone, it was all new
Writing everything down in a book
Code words and lists, one day I will look

Friendly, talkative, manic and social
What was happening was non negotiable
Heightened senses and lost inhibitions
Thinking nurses were on special missions

Suspicious, confused and forgetful
Family at home feeling fretful
Racing thoughts, I was on the ball
Knowing everything, feeling invincible

Reading people and their expressions
Talking therapy and psych sessions
After a while given a hypothesis
It was something called psychosis

If not bad enough, depression came too
The feeling of emptiness, feeling blue
Enjoying nothing and feeling sad
Tears dropping then feeling mad

Then numbness starts and black sets in
You gain weight or you get thin
Can't concentrate and sleeping more
Feeling empty to the core

Will it end, will it go away
I have to take it day by day
Will I be normal, will I be me
I will have to wait and see